Locked up again, he lived alone and did everything he could to mend the broken heart of another emotionally unavailable man. I know, it’s a story as old as time.

I licked my wounds and binge-watched episodes of Yellowstone. Beth would never put up with this shit, I thought, as I sobbed over a man who, upon reflection, really wasn’t worth it.

So when an older, shorter, but kind man came into my orbit halfway through that damn lockdown, I didn’t worry too much.

While I adored his attention, I shamelessly (and superficially) thought he was so far removed from my usual type that there was no danger of getting my heart broken again.

Well, spoiler alert, there was a plot twist that I didn’t see coming.

When I finally got damn Covid, he left comfort food packages at my door. And once he finally disappeared from my system, he signed up to become my ‘bubble buddy’ (remember when you had to sign up to allow someone to stay at your house? Wild times!)

We stayed up all night drinking gin martinis and eating sushi. To this day it is still one of the best nights of my life.

However, what happened was that I caught the sensations. For a man under six feet with a receding hairline and a job in an industry that, at the time, wasn’t exactly succeeding.

This was not the Brad Pitt (circa Legends of Fall era) I had in mind for me. But what I fell in love with was his deep voice, his powerful gaze, and an aura that made him deliciously alpha. The way he would break out into a big, boisterous laugh if he said something funny… he couldn’t get enough.

Sadly, after we came out of lockdown, we both went on with our very busy lives. Although from time to time we dance in each other’s lives, and when we do, it is glorious.

But it made me think of the Lana Del Reys, Selena Gomezs, and Ariana Grandes of this world, who are constantly put down for their choice of men.

Men who don’t measure up to the handsome Hollywood guy we’ve grown accustomed to seeing our celebrities marry. Think Brad and Angelina, George and Amal, Ryan and Blake. All ridiculously handsome. But why do we assume they have made better mating decisions?

Having dated both sides of the fence, I discovered that often the best looking ones have personalities based solely on that: being attractive. They haven’t had to work much on their personalities and it shows.

I remember dating a former AussieBum model who bored me to tears. God, it was pretty though. Could I see a life growing old with him? No. How boring. Give me a man with depth, humor and wisdom any day over a chiseled jaw.

Men like this have learned to lean on what really counts: the art of conversation, emotional connection, and being trustworthy. I can’t count the number of times a man with “model vibes” left me questioning my worth or feeling insecure, while the so-called “average Joe” made me feel absolutely adored.

So why do we glorify superficial standards when love, at its core, is nourished by invisible qualities?

Lana Del Rey and her husband, tour boat captain Jeremy Dufrene, whom she married in September

 

Jana explains why people like Selena Gomez, Lana Del Rey and Ariana Grande have chosen average-looking men instead of Hollywood hunks.

Take Adam Driver for example. The man isn’t winning any ‘prettiest face’ contests, but slap him in a black cape like Kylo Ren from Star Wars, and suddenly we’re all swooning over his deep voice and commanding presence.

It’s a vibe, not a face. So much so that Burberry even put him shirtless on a horse to sell one of their fragrances. That man made a lot of money off his sexy vibe, and men, is he worth the bottle!

And let’s not even talk about what is known as “nice fatigue.”

There is an invisible stress when you date someone who everyone considers perfect. Am I matching their energy? Are you noticing that wrinkle I just found? I swear, it’s comforting to date a guy who’s more interested in football than his own reflection in the mirror.

I have a strict rule: if they spend more time than I do getting ready to go out, they’re not for me. Red flag, red flag.

There’s something about a man with a flawed face who still carries himself like a king. It’s confidence, not cheekbones, that will have you taking off your clothes in a lustful frenzy.

My friend from the lockdown bubble had a crooked nose from playing football in his youth, and I actually loved it. It was part of his charm and I found it adorable.

So maybe the next time your friends raise an eyebrow at your unconventional crush, remind them that true love isn’t skin deep.

After all, it’s the guy who brings you sushi and martinis when you’re on your last leg who ends up stealing your heart, not the guy who shows off his abs on Instagram.

Personally, I am happy for Selena’s commitment. I’ve gotten lost in many Benny Blanco Insta reels, and that man is hilarious. Oh, and a good cook! Oh, and ridiculously creative. I’d say he’s hit the jackpot.