Hopefully you’ve made your peace with the Dolphins trading Jalen Ramsey by now. If you haven’t, I guess I commend your bravery – going down with the ship is respectable.

For everyone else, the conversation long ago turned into speculation on what that trade will ultimately end up looking like. Ramsey’s owed a ton – like, a ton – of money over the next few seasons, and neither side really seem like they make sense for each other at this point. That’s life.

And for most of this process, the assumption has been that the Dolphins would be lucky to get a 4th round pick for Ramsey. That’s probably still true, but it’s not interesting to write about and it certainly isn’t any better to read about. We need NAMES! We need big names that get Google’s attention. We need shocking, bombshell reports about huge names that’ll shift the plates that the NFL sits on forever. ESPN knows what I’m talking about.

ESPN has the ‘perfect’ solution to the Dolphins’ Jalen Ramsey trade speculation

Asante Samuel Jr., CB
Best team fit: Miami Dolphins

“With Jalen Ramsey potentially getting traded, Samuel could boost the Dolphins’ secondary. Miami is currently relying on Kader Kohou, Artie Burns, Storm Duck, Cam Smith, Ethan Bonner and rookie Jason Marshall Jr. to fill out the rest of the CB room. When healthy, Samuel has a playmaking mentality at cornerback and uses sudden closing speed to break on the ball. That fits in a Miami defense that played Cover 2 on 27.3% of opponent dropbacks last season, the fourth most in the league. Samuel has the traits to pattern match in man, too. A shoulder injury limited him to four games in 2024, but Samuel had six interceptions and 26 pass breakups in four seasons with the Chargers.”

Asante Samuel Jr is exactly the kind of name I was asking for. Does it make football sense? I dunno, maybe. It’s mid-May, who cares? What’s more important is that it’s a big name for a big headline. That’s what I want from my content this time of year – as the summer goes on, that’s when we’ll start worrying about depth charts and fringe roster decisions. Right now I just want to most appetitizing, SEO-friendly slop I can get my hands on, and this might be the treat for me. Asante Samuel Jr., welcome to Miami. They play Cover 2 on just over 27% of opponent drop backs, so this has no chance of failing.